Home.

Dear monkey-monkeys,

I got back from Montreal on Sunday. I had a blast with my sister for a whole week. And the whole thing started with…I’ll let you read what I was supposed to post Saturday morning, January 6th.

PG-13. January 6, 2007.

Yesterday, among numerous other things, I baked a cake. Not just any kind of cake. A carrot cake. But not any carrot cake. No siree. Children, avert your eyes. Go play with the boxes your Christmas presents came in. Shoo.

Are there only adults, here? Great.

I made a cake in the shape of a penis. That’s right. As I write this, there is a foot and a half long schlong in my fridge. Carrot with cream cheese icing. And I’m about to put it in the car, along with two boxes of food and my suitcase, and get my chauffeur to drive me to Montreal. Sweet. I can’t wait to see my brother in law’s face! He asked for it, and doesn’t even suspect he’s gettin’ it. That’s right. Nor does he suspect he’s getting a surprise party with all of his friends!!! Happy 30th, indeed!

Oh – the suitcase is because I’ll be in Montreal for the next week. Double sweet. See you in a week!