Work It, Baby.

Today, I am going to do something I have been wanting to do for a while, but have always put off for stupid/financial/lazy reasons.

I'm going to the gym this afternoon. Yes, Beloved Readers. I kid you not.

I signed up last week, dished out waaaay more money than it should cost to work out in a high-tech facility, and voilà.

I understand it's a service and one should pay for it, but here's what bugs me. The guy who signed me up was definitely a salesman. I mean, I got the tour and the demos before we talked money. He was giving me a tour in English, because my anglo friend signed up with me. This is what he sounded like - it was great. Just a preview for you, my lovelies:

"Dis? De 'Ammer Streng? It's de bess in de Wess. Diss it's de bess matchine you can get, because it's de eye tech stuff, you know? Me, I work 'ere, I never seen people hurt their self, break something, or stretch a muscle. Because dis, it's all how do I say, it's all..you can see you 'ave de security belt, like in a car. Nice, hein?"

Yes. De bess in de Wess indeed. I provided him with that expression, because he was hesitating at each new section of the gym, looking for a way to say it was the best equipment on the market. So I said: "The best in the West" while doing the little shooting motion with my hands. And that was it. He loved it. So it became:

"Dis? Bess machine in the Wess in Qwebec. It's de bess." (doing the hands-palms-down sweeping motion indicating finality.)

When he told me the price I would have to pay, I was knocked right off my chair. I think he saw the disbelief in my face - granted, my jaw was unhinged, mouth open, vacant expression in the eyes - I must have looked quite dumb. I mentally picked myself up from the floor, laughed and asked him why it was so expensive. He looked at me, fake confidence oozing from every pore, and tried to do the cute eye thing at me (which pissed me off) and said - I'm sparing you the québécois accent this time : "You're right, ok? Money should not be an obstacle on your way to feeling better in your body. You want to lose weight? Here's what I can do for you." And he proceeded to give me a shit deal. "Okay. Our advert says it costs this much a month? That's not good. It's false representation, sort of. You know? Because actually, that price? It's the price for ONE service (i.e. just cardio, just free weights), no trainer to get you started. You are not allowed to use all the other services." His attitude changed, he became pissed off, because I did not fall for his routine and I asked questions. He would have liked me to sign right away. I'm guessing he makes commission.

Then we found common ground (sort of). I never thought I'd have to ask so many questions not to get handed a crappy deal. I am mad that it should cost me so much to feel better. All that being said, I am spending the money knowing full well that I am paying for the latest high-tech equipment (de bess in the Wess, sigh) and location. I'll have to pay extra to get someone to help be build my programme, which pisses me off too. I can't afford to pay for that today. So I'll be with a friend who has worked out in a gym before, and she'll help me. And I'll be really careful and not overdo it. And I'll stretch before and after. Ahhh. Jesus. Here we go.

At least I got a really sweet deal on gym shoes yesterday. *high five*